6am

• May 30, 2007

6am

It says something about our society.

On the BART in the morning, just over 50% of the passengers on any given car are asleep, or trying to sleep, or trying not to sleep, or at least resting with their eyes closed and their heads leaned over.

Sacrificing sleep in order to start the business day an hour earlier - every single day.
Why is this required, and why do we allow it? Is that much money really made between 7am and 8am?

Of course I am on that train too, in order to see it; but then that's because my job is a service specifically to commuters. So I have to be there before the commute. All those people on the train at 6am can't all have jobs specific to commuters.
And, well, in my case, something about skating 2.5 miles to BART while listening to Shock G and the DU as the sun comes up, it just makes it feel different. I actually enjoy my commute, even when I'm tired.

Look at these faces: they are not happy faces. Even without the loss of sleep, they are not happy faces.

I remember my bike trip through Mexico almost a decade ago now. It wasn't like this.
I would come across a store or a restaurant. The sign, if there was one, might say they opened at 9. But whether or not it was actually open at 9, that seemed to depend more on whether or not the owner felt like opening by then or not than what the sign said.
Which could be a little annoying when I had just ridden 15 miles and was looking forward to breakfast, but even then, I understood, I still liked that system better.

Money is to support living, instead of life being a means to make money.

Like a mountain stream

• May 28, 2007

Like a mountain stream

following the path of least resistance

gravity will take you down, with no effort on your part

no effort is always attractive

but you end up lost in the vast ocean

or at the bottom of the deepest chasm

only then will you rest

and to get to better place you must hike all the way back up

when had you taken the effort to control your direction from the beginning, the path would have been shorter

to reach the peak takes effort

effort rewarded

taking the path of least resistance, like a mountain stream,
you may not end up where you want to

Guess who just did his first one handed pull up?

• May 27, 2007

Guess who just did his first one handed pull up?

Oh hell yes!

And to think, so much money, so much time wasted on gym memberships and working out.
When all I had to do was start working as a mover/hauler.

Ok, ok, I admit it
It wasn't really a proper pull-up.
It was what the junior high school gym teacher referred to as a 1/2 pull-up, so that he didn't have to give out so many zeros during the annual fitness test. 
(Back then there were a lot of halves, ones, occasionally a two.  I used to pop off 10 or 15...)
Not the entire range of motion, from full extension to full contraction.
I can go from either full extension to half way, or half way to full contraction, but not quite both at once.

But this is sure the closest I've ever come!
I'm pretty happy with it.
Give me a couple months with my new in home pull-up bar, and...

Free stuff for everybody

• May 26, 2007

Free stuff for everybody

I am tired of having stuff in my driveway.  I made enough off of picking them up and the stuff that sold quick
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/gms/339793224.html
Ignore the prices listed.  With the exception of the grill, if you see anything you have a use for, mention this blog, and its yours. 

*update: this is the current link*

I understand sleeping with the TV on

• May 25, 2007

I understand sleeping with the TV on

Some sleep with the TV on every night.
Once in a while may not mean anything, but every night, that is unmistakable.

Others are more subtle

Insomnia.  Some part keeps saying 'what are you doing trying to sleep when you could be using this time to go look for it?'

Drinking; a lot. Exceptions include alcoholics and college  students.
Most other drugs too, same thing.

Excess exercise.  You can tell them from the truly health conscious because they will work out even when sick, injured, or sore from last time, when exercise is not healthy, and probably counter-productive. They know that it is, but feel compelled none the less.

Overtime which is not really needed financially.

Volunteering so much that it displaces all or most personal life.  Hard to distinguish between those who really care, because surely that's a factor for everyone, and there are no concrete lines to draw.

Singular obsessions of nearly any kind.  This I don't know so much about, I could not tell which instances were this, and which were simply neurosis

It may involve constant (but primarily or exclusively superficial) social interactions, or it may be a complete withdrawal from social life.

Just, one way or another, filling all of ones time, never allowing for down time, for rest.  It doesn't make any difference what that time is filled with, if it feels imperative that it be something, every moment.
Every type 'A' personality is unsatisfied.  There is something they need to get, something they need to achieve or to find or to prove which they know they will never be able to.

Its all the same.  We know we are missing something.  We don't want to admit it to ourselves.  We don't want to think about it.
Some are in such deep denial that they don't even know there is anything to look for, have no idea that their activities are a coping mechanism.  They rationalize it, "this is just what I enjoy doing".  They really don't know.

I know exactly what I am missing. 
Sometimes I envy the ones who don't, but in the end, I don't really think it makes them happier.  It just means they end up throwing away the chance when it comes by, because they'd rather keep up the illusion than risk having to feel.  They'd rather go without than risking finding it and losing it again.

But is a guaranty of acceptable really worth a chance at excellent?

This may be most of us.  What it is we are each missing in our lives, they may be totally different for each of us, they may have nothing in common.  It doesn't matter.  The feeling is the same.  The actions we take to deal with it when we have no control are all the same.

Sleeping with the TV on can mean many things, but it always means that there is something which you are afraid to let yourself think about.  There is something which is hard to repress without distraction.

Me, I can't sleep with the TV on.  When I first noticed this habit in others, I recognized it for what it was, but I really didn't sympathize. 
I wonder if I could learn to sleep with it on. 

After all, I have such a nice flat panel TV in the bedroom...

I HAVE to have a subject line, MySpace says so

• May 23, 2007

I HAVE to have a subject line, MySpace says so

the human mind is just so strange

dare you ever feel the slightest confidence that you have "figured it out", it'll show you a thing or two

If all the most important things are crumbling, how does that justify this sense of contentment, actually joy.
One or the other, they could compensate, but both at once, I should be inconsolable.
And yet. Next? No idea. And yet. Music in my brain. Feeling the present. And its ok.



Even the guy just now, I can't stay mad at him, even crazy people have to ride bikes. Must be hard to go through life convinced that you are "black-listed", that everyone is after you. As obnoxious as he was, and even with the threats, I mostly feel sorry for him.

I've been crying from TV shows and movies. Drama, comedy, sometimes cartoons. From bad moments and good. What the hell is that about?
I am not the man I once was.
Not that it's brand new, but its excessive, or at odd times, or... its just abnormal.

I know repression. Oh dear do I ever. This ain't it.

I think I like it. How can I not? Happy is happy. Is all in the mind after all... I guess. Or?

Who got the gravy? That's the real question isn't it?

Problem with memory being so damn small, its way too easy to misplace. Real-to-real magnetic storage medium, now that ain't gonna be misplaced. This thing is friggin 1cm square; what did the hell did I expect? I lose things literally thousands of times bigger than that.

Pointless to ask, not even I know.

She might have been cute. The black eye was just too distracting. It wasn't this way when we moved in. There was just the one guy. A death, a move, a change in management, and the stereotypes become more and more valid each day. Plus side that my yard looks clean by comparison, but not really worth it.

What is this about? Everything. Blog is just an outlet, for words, for thoughts. They have to go somewhere. Else you end up thinking groups are targeting you, and threatening to use "devices".

It is time for midnight skating with some bumpin' music. Fuck sleep. What has sleep ever done for me? Cancellations, and BAM free time. Oh yeah baby! YEEAAAH, Bay-BE!! Sunny weather.
Lets leave the future for the future. The sun is out. 5 more hours underground.
Interest bearing debt fading fast. Nuts to a real job. Maybe Alex was right. Omari agreed: planning is pointless. How did he say it? "A plan is a prayer to father time" I would have said to Malomar, but its no less valid for it.

How did I go so many years not knowing Zapp (and Roger)? I always liked them, just never knew who they were. Thank you Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, as if we needed another reason to like you.

This is not a short blog!

Passion

• May 20, 2007

Passion

riding all day down the coast of California.

Typical early spring weather.

Cool.  Misty.  Bright.  Windy.

Tired, a little hungry.

Rain starts.

Rain gear doesn't help - all wet.  Cold.

Arrive at camp ground, check in, restroom / shower key

Clothes off, in the shower, all alone, faucet, hot, almost too hot, almost painful
Almost, but not

Perfect.
Warm.  Soft

Like your body is going to melt.
Right there in the campground shower, melt into a puddle, but you don't mind.

Wonder briefly what person in shower stall next door thinks of the pleasure noises involuntarily escaping you, but, the feeling is too distracting to think.  Ordinary showers never feel as good.

Take that feeling, the hot water enveloping, but instead, picture it in girl form.

Passion.

And yet -

Music.   Music in the genre they call "funk".
Sure, music is a matter of taste, personal preference.
But there is something ,  that, eee-gha. When your feeling the live band.  The rhythm gets into you.  People to ashamed to dance can't help but tap feet and wiggle heads.  There's a break, a pause, and then that first perfect beat, that first note, and if its done right, the dancers no longer have control over their bodies.  The musicians do.  And they know it, and they play with it.  And its not about what you look like, or about picking someone up, its just the music, just you and the music, and it just feels right, it just feels good.

Take that feeling, and put it in girl form.

The music with that ngha and the melting in a puddle.  They are not compatible.  They are both good, but one is calm and one is energy itself.  Or at least, not in any other context are they compatible.  Some how, passion, with all its physical movement, all its effort, makes you melt just like the shower, just like a really good massage.  Even with out sex, even with out love, it is like combining every good sensation, every good feeling that life has to offer us, into one concentrated moment, so intense as to boarder on excruciating, but somehow never crossing that line.

That sound, in the Beatles song "Girl" on Rubber Soul, the sucking in through the teeth, sssss, I can't find a proper onomatopoeia for it.
But you know what I mean.

My job has a movie!

May 19, 2007

My job has a movie!

http://www.streetfilms.org/archives/bikestation-berkeley/

Update to 2 previous blogs

• May 18, 2007

Update to 2 previous blogs

(As you may have noticed, the dates my blogs are supposedly posted are not always accurate, and occasionally even change.
This is because I think it is easier to read, and easier to distinguish one from another, when there is that solid stripe between them which only separates days, not entries.  Rest assured that they are always in chronological order, and never more than a day or two off from when they were really written.)

Here is a short sample of the transcription accuracy when the person leaving the message is not deliberately saying lots of weird and random things just to test the system.
I just got this email from SpinVox:

• You received a new voicemail from +1510[*******]:
  
  ---------------
  Bakari. Hey, Dave calling about the workday around noon. Hey, thanks for offering to work today, but we're all set. I've got the shifts covered, so you're next on for Fri afternoon 2 to 9. I will see you then around 2:00. Thanks again. Have a great back-to-work day. Talk to you later.
  - Powered by SpinVox.
  ---------------
  
  Message received at May 17, 2007 7:14:21 PM
  
  If you wish to listen to this message, call your voicemail on +925[*******] and press *03
  
  For assistance, see www.spinvox.com or email service@spinvox.com
  
  Thank you,
  SpinVox
  
  

The last thing I want is to be a spokesman

• May 17, 2007

The last thing I want is to be a spokesman

SpinVox is not paying me anything.

Honest.

--

I live in a dead spot in my cell phone network (Verizon)
I also work several times a week underground (in BART)

As a result, I often do not get voicemail notifications for hours, occasionally a day or two after someone leaves me a message.
I do, however, have internet connections at both places.

So I spent some time on Google, and found a service which will email you a transcript of every voicemail you receive.
I signed up for a free trial.
I don't know how much it costs, because it is a British company, and the price list is in pounds sterling.  They are still in "beta" phase in US markets.

I have used computer transcript programs before.  I was unimpressed.  And this is with pre-voice-programming.

This new service needs to be able to work with any voice, any accent, over a telephone connection.

I was skeptical.  But at least I would get notifications of new voicemails, whether or not the transcript was accurate.

I called my self to leave a test message.  It was pretty long, so it cuts off abruptly toward the end.

Not only did it get almost every word right (including my first name, slang and sounds that aren't even real words) but the few wrong words its obvious what I meant - and it got the punctuation spot on too!!  It recognized the intonation that means "question"

Here are the results, which were emailed to me a few minutes later:

----------------------------

You received a new voicemail from +15105315953:

Ah whap baba loombop, ah whap bam boom, tootie fruitie fruitie. Hello. My name is Bakari Kafeeley, & I'm calling about a fictional job that will never happen, cos I am myself. Really, this is a test of how well the SpinVox service can turn my voice into text without me having, you know, programmed my voice for it to recognize words. I mean, this is amazing! It can take anyone with all the various accents & tones of voice there are in the world, & understand what we're saying? And turn it into something that will be understandable? Let's just see. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRXTUVWXYand Z. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13

,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30. You know, I could use this to just be like talking, actually talking & send myself a freaking voicemail. And when I want to remember something, or want to record what I'm thinking in real time, because I'll forget? I'll send myself a freaking phone call, you automatically what do you call it, what do you call it, transcribe what I'm saying via computer, & send me a freaking email of the text? This is the most amazing thing I've ever hear [first mistake, meant "heard"] of. I don't know, I can't believe I'm getting a free trial. I hope this free trial lasts like a mon ["month"] or like forever, cos this service is gonna have to be expensive & frankly I can't afford it. How ever much it is, there is no way I can afford it, cos this ["is"] amazing & it must cost like a million dollars a mon["th"]. Computers have just reached an ultimate. How freaking long do I get to record? I mean, I know it was long, but I sure hope I don't get any voicemails that are this long. Although Lord knows, I have before. My Mother, & Simate(?)[Senyate, but the question mark indicates that the system is aware it may be wrong] Simate

In the future I promise to keep all corporate type advertising to a minimum on my blog.  I am just so impressed with the technology.
www.spinvox.com

I mis-counted

• May 16, 2007

I mis-counted

Looking back on my calendar

Over the last 25 days, one day off.

That is misleading, because often it is just one short moving job, no more than 2 or 3 hours.
All in all, 28 individual jobs in that time.

I was really looking forward to a 2nd day off today.
Call last night from Dave (the president of the Berkeley Bicycle Friendly Coalition, as well as the manager of the Bike Station)
He has not got confirmation from our new hire - could I go in, just in case he doesn't show up, and also to train him some more if he does?

Normally I'd say no without a second thought, and that would be the end of it.

Only thing is, if I don't do it, Dave himself has to.  We are short people (that's why we have new hires).
And Dave works just as much as I do, except I think a lot of what he does is volunteer.  The Bicycle Friendly Coalition is not-profit, and membership based.  They rely on volunteers for everything.
May being Bike month, he has been putting in crazy hours, (and forgetting to submit payroll! that's ok, as long as I get my check before bills are due)
*edit: check has gone through already.  only took 1 day from when I sent him everyone's hours from work, only 3 days later than normal*
, and now he is sick.

I may be tired, but I'm not sick.

The least I can do is put in a few more - paid - hours.  I don't volunteer anywhere; and I have no intention of starting. 
I was going to spend today posting stuff in the driveway to Craigslist, writing some, having 3 or 4 actual meals, and possible inviting a friend to go hiking.  I think instead I may spend it lifting bicycles into racks, and occasionally repairing them.

Oh, by the way, this is Bike-To-Work day, today.
By now, you probably have missed the chance to bike to work, but when you get home, go ride a bike anyway.  Somewhere.  Anywhere.  Even just for a little bit.  Its fun.  And its good for you.  And its better for living things than driving is.  And besides, everyone else is doing it!

Symptoms may include:

• May 15, 2007

Symptoms may include: 

Insomnia
Loss of (or increase in) libido
Restlessness
Fatigue and/or general malaise
Lumpy throat, heavy heart, and/or tight or tingly abdomen
Sore throat, frequent sneezing (likely due to persistent insomnia)
A manic and abnormal desire to keep busy
emotional extremes, positive, negative, or both (depending on individual circumstances)

Diagnoses may be either love sickness or a broken heart.
Distinguishing between the two may be very difficult, and is best determined by patient's circumstances

The only known cure (which, unfortunately, has no known reliable source) is a mutual loving relationship. Treatment usually involves a (preferably single) compatible individual of the opposite sex (or in certain select cases, of the same sex). This individual should be placed in regular contact with the patient.

If individual with these characteristics is unavailable, temporary or long-term relief may be found in the solace of patients friends, or the distraction of work or volunteering. This, unlike the former treatment, can not cure the condition, however, many individuals have lived long, full and productive lives with these conditions using only the latter treatment.

I wait in fear

·         May 14, 2007

I wait in fear

a state of limbo

perhaps purgatory is more accurate

A space between Heaven and Hell

While I await judgment.

I can not imagine a matter more important.  Life and death, or actually, more significant than even that, it is a matter of life.

And it is out of my control.
I have made a case for myself.
I have tried the best I could.

I feel in a way a judgment against me would be better than this.
The anticipation itself is as agonizing as the worst Hell may have in store for me.
Heaven or Hell seems a most accurate description of the choices before me.  Or actually, Heaven, Hell or an indefinite stay in purgatory.  Even the last would be better than this. 
At least then I would know.

It is another 5:20am morning tomorrow.
I must try to sleep.

The moment before sleep is the worst part of each day.
In that moment, there is no distraction.

15 hour day (and an extra long commute)

·         May 13, 2007

15 hour day (and an extra long commute)

On the BART, at one point, I spoke to a woman with a bike, she mentioned she was going to work - I mentioned that if she was working the late shift, she should have lights for the ride home. She said the ride home was next morning.
Turns out she is a resident doctor. They were limited to "only" 15 hours per shift and 80 hours per week only a few years ago.
For doctors-to-be, this is normal.

So I won't complain.

5:20am
alarm - god damn it, why did I stay up until midnight? I knew this would happen - you know, since it does several times a week
So tired. Painfully tired. Sore throat. Fuck it, snooze button

People waiting for me, need to be on time. Ok ok, I'm up.

Dressed, half a pop-tart, pull bike out from stuff in driveway, turn on newly figured out bluetooth stereo headphone cell-phone link, music, bicycle, on the way.

Today, I won't be so lazy, take 38th despite the little hill.
Up the hill, down the hill, so easy, why do I skip this everyday?
Getting late. Tired, eh, I'll take BART today. So much for not being lazy.

6:20
Fruitvale BART

May is Bike to Work (or School) day

·         May 1, 2007

May is Bike to Work (or School) day

My co-worker was very insistent, when she heard I have a blog, that I post this here.
I told here I have negligible readership, but she was certain it was a good idea.

Censorship vs gangsta rap (re: Imus essay)

• Apr 17, 2007

Censorship vs gangsta rap (re: Imus essay)

I recently saw a MySpace "survey" which included the question "Is Rap music disrespectful to women?"
My thought was "Of course.  All of it.  Even the songs and artists which aren't.  Especially rappers such as Public Enemy, Underground, and TuPac, and current artists OutKast, RasKaDee and Dead Prez with their "Mind Sex".  Oh and the lyrics of the Fugees, Queen LaTifa, and Lil Kim, very offensive to women."
A little on the sarcastic side, obviously.
Point is, that is a really stupid question.  Rap is not one song, one artist, or even one style.  There are artists who objectify women in rock and country, and there are artists who do in rap as well.

The important question is, when there are so many political, and/or positive, and/or fun and upbeat, and/or meaningful rap songs and artists, why is it that NWA and Snoop Dogg are considered representative of the entire genre.  Why are gangsta rap, hyphe (the glorification of stupid for its own sake), dirty south and crunk, the dominate styles in their respective times?

While there may be many complex reasons, it is important to remember that the promotion of a song or group is controlled by major record labels, radio stations, and concert venue owners.  The vast majority of these happen to be white. 
I'm not saying it is a deliberate conspiracy, but it is interesting that NWA got more air time than Public Enemy, when the former was hardcore gangsta rap, promoted violence in general, was disrespectful of women in particular, while the latter was purely political, and rapped about such things as the aftermath of slavery, alcohol abuse in the black community, and the use of the word "n***er" by ignorant black americans.

I used to dislike the entire genre for the same reasons; until I started to find the numerous exceptions to the generalizations expressed here.
Fact is, it is a style of music, not a type of content.  Beyond the question of who chooses what style becomes popular, the question remains, why are so many rappers the way described?  And in that, there is the same chicken/egg question raised by all of the media influences people arguments.  Does the community build its morals based on the music they listen to, or do they choose to listen to music that matches their morals?  Does art imitate life, or life imitate art? I think the question of why the community thinks this way is more important than why rappers do.  If youth were offended by the lyrics, they would stop buying the albums, and the rappers would stop writing that way. I think internalized racism is very relevant, but not exactly accurate. It is more that many black people have bought into the idea that the black community is in some way fundamentally separate from society at large.  While many sub-cultures in the US make some effort to assimilate, in a way blacks try to move away from the rest of society.  Of course this is true to a large extent of youth in general.  But when a punk or a goth or a skater white kid writes a note to a teacher, they generally do not use the sub-cultural words they use with their friends.  Some black children seem unaware that they aren't speaking proper english, and use slang even in formal settings.  Black youth are told that math, history, english classes are not relevant to their problems, to their community.  This is an extremely destructive, but widespread belief.  While the intention may have been valid, the result is not that kids do independent research and learn the history that classrooms leave out, the result is they don't try, or drop out, and continue a cycle of ignorance when they have children and fail to encourage them to perform well in school.  I think we should consider it a problem that many blacks consider another black person who is educated and articulate to be "acting white" or a sell-out or not really black.  This is a promotion of ignorance just as hyphe is a promotion of stupid.

Closer

Apr 8, 2007

Closer

Its that one line that stands out.  Its what people hear first.  It seems dramatic in its vulgarity; and so it's taken out of context.

This is not the typical bass thumping, "hey baby, lets get in on" song.
It is not about dominance, nor pleasure.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.

"Help me" is more key to the feeling than "I want to fuck you like an animal".

It turns out my neighbor ISN'T a crack head!

• Apr 6, 2007

It turns out my neighbor ISN'T a crack head!

It's heroin, not crack.

Not that I am surprised.  I just use the term "crack-head" because it's got a certain ring to it, which "heroin-addict" lacks.

I hear from one of my former neighbors, who bought some of my furniture today, that the crazy pet-abusing child-threatening neighbor-robbing 3-broken-car-owning driveway-full-of-crap trailer trash neighbor is actually being evicted!

Hooray!

Apparently despite the drug sales, the credit card fraud, the identity theft, and the burglary, he still couldn't pay the rent.
Supposedly that time the cops were here for so long, it was for his girl, not for him.  That explains why she hasn't been around for a while.  Supposedly she will be away for a good while, from all the identity theft she was caught involved in.
The former neighbor who told me all this, she warned me to watch out.  Now that he's being evicted (dear god I hope they take his kid) he has nothing to lose from hurting his neighbors - especially ones he has a grudge against, i.e. ME. 
So, one of these days something of mine will be missing, or maybe there will be a brick through the window of the truck or trailer.
But, it will be worth it!
Won't have to deal with him ever again after that.  Won't have to listen to him cursing and threatening his 2 year old for walking more than 5 ft away from the driveway.  Won't have to worry about the revenge that might or might not be coming some day.  Won't have to worry about drunkenness giving him the courage to actually start a fight - I'd have the advantage of being sober and not an idiot, but he'd have the advantage of surprise, size and weight, and probably countless street and prison fights in the past.  Considering that he already has nothing, I couldn't even sue for damages.  Even if I "won", nothing good could come of it.
But it may be a moot point very soon.  He didn't pay his rent.  They're throwing him out.
Ding-Dong the witch is dead!  Which old witch?  The wicked witch!

I ended up working today afterall

• Apr 5, 2007

I ended up working today afterall

!

No wonder I've been tired!

• Apr 4, 2007

No wonder I've been tired!

And no wonder I haven't been shopping yet.
I just looked back over my google calender.
Today is the first day without at least one job scheduled for 10 days back.  Before that was one day off, and two more work days before that.
13 days, one day off.  Well, actually - one cancelled last minute, it was really two days off, but not consecutively.
It felt like a lot, but I didn't realize it was that much.
If I wasn't self-employed, that would have been illegal.
Today I'm not officially working, but I have to get rid of all this stuff.
Need a kitchen table/chair set?  They are wicker, good condition, glass top, rolling chairs.  How about a 7ft tall solid wood entertainment center?
On the plus side, most jobs are only a few hours - on the other hand, 5 of those days had 2 or more jobs in the same day.
Now, if I only could get my pricing down, so that I'm never spend more on a job than I charge (twice last week!!!!!!) I would be doing pretty good.
It will be nice going back to a 4/10 schedule (10 hour days, 3 days off per week) when/if I get my new job/career going.  Its like a mini vacation every week!

Bike Station

• Apr 3, 2007

Bike Station

As you probably know (if you have looked at my profile, or spoken to me for half an hour) I've had a lot of jobs. About 25 in fact, of about 15 different types, ranging rather widely.

I can't remember one in which I have enjoyed the commute to work as much as the commute home.
And not just because of the 15 mile bike ride at 2pm through sunny Berkeley and Oakland, around the lake, along the "bike boulevards" in near perfect weather.

Today, I took a few extra moments before someone left with their bike to cut off the end of a used inner tube. I had noticed their headlight was too loose for the handlebar, and I made a shim out of the piece of tube, and now instead of pointing straight down, her headlight points forward. Which means its just a little less likely that she gets hit by a car sometime.

My blog views have finally surpassed my profile views!

• Apr 2, 2007

My blog views have finally surpassed my profile views!

It must have been that I started writing these meaningless silly ones, sort of like this one, instead of the constant barrage of opinionated, angry, political/philosophical crap I started out with, that whole "Chapter #; in which..."

800.  Wow.  Really wish I could see who all these people are. 
I barely know 8 people, are they reading them over and over, or have I somehow caught the attention of total strangers? 800 views of 50 posts, that's an average of 16 each!  Now I need only adding in subliminal messages, and before long I could - dare I say it?- RULE THE WORLD!
Mwah HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!


-edit-
2 more!  already?  how is this possible?  Does the mere act of posting count as a "view" by myself?  And even then, who's the other one?  Just now?  in the time it took me to post the above blog?  WTH?  who are you?  why don't you ever comment?  yabadahlieoto?!?! what is the smiley icon for confused? hows that?

FC Spoons, Sat 3/31 4:30p Ohlone Park

• Mar 29, 2007

FC Spoons, Sat 3/31 4:30p Ohlone Park

Old spot, across the street from North Berkeley BART.
I'll be there some time between 4 and 4:30.
Please RSVP (so I know to cancel if there are only going to be 2 or 3 of us)

Feel free to invite people.  Last week was good, with 5, but more is better.

Hey Al, I hear you have been considering playing again.  You should.  You practically invented the game.  And Greg too, but I just don't see that happening (prove me wrong, man).
Anakune, I made it Sat for you, you had better show up!

email me lenardsimp@gmail.com if you would like to be on the regular mailing list

In Which a progressive writes an article about the economy:

• Mar 28, 2007

In Which a progressive writes an article about the economy:

The author claims a balanced budget is a minor issue.
The #3 government expense is interest payments.
That's 318billion not spent on social or environmental programs.

A debt free America would free 318billion annually because of Republican leaders who felt balancing the budget was unimportant.

We do need to address climate change, energy use, and healthcare, but simply increasing spending is not the only way to do it.
Changes in laws, regulations, and taxes could improve these areas while actually bringing in money.
In order to balance the budget, the most effective agenda would focus on the highest expenses.
First, reducing our military spending to the level of the nation with the 2nd highest spending or just above allows us to maintain a military edge, but saves 400 billion a year (we currently spend 10 times as much as any other one nation; as much as the rest of the world combined)
Second, a nationalized healthcare system would actually save the government billions compared to our current system - estimates range as high as 50%, or 200 billion a year.
As noted, eliminating US debt saves another 300 billion a year.

Its easy to try to curb pollution by throwing money at technology, but a more effective approach may actually be market based - with one significant intervention.  Increase tax on gasoline and coal, say 500% and consumers will individually take it upon themselves to buy smaller cars, bicycle more, take public transit, and save power.  Industry will have incentive to produce better technologies and more efficient products.  And instead of costing government funds, it would bring in additional funds.

While it is true that ignoring social needs in favor of the economy can not be sustainable in the long run, the inverse is equally true.

The progressive economic agenda should be sustainability and quality of life.  An ever increasing debt can never be sustainable.

Perhaps more people read my blog than bulletins [or FCS announcement]

• Mar 23, 2007

Perhaps more people read my blog than bulletins

Full Contact Spoons, Sunday, around noon,
contact me for location.

http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Full-Contact-Spoons

I have a real rugby ball, which I expect to make for excellent play!





-------------------------
[UPDATE]


Just so you know...

Yall missed an excellent game!

our 3rd person was an hour late - last 2 were an hour and a half late, but once we had 5 things got going. Rugby ball works well, less time spent in the piles.



now that the weather's better, I'll try to hold them more often.

email me if you'd like to be on the mailing list for next time.


Tentatively next Sat at 4:15 pm, at the old location, Ohlone Park in Berkeley (across the street form North Berkeley BART)

Continued...

• Mar 20, 2007

Continued...

oh my god, that is so much better already.
so much better.


Now this is a place I could have people over to.


...now if only there were people who liked me enough to stop by :(

Hey, you!
Want to come visit?

I know somebody reads these, myspace tells me that last post was already read 17 times!

Pathetic slovenly single guy

• Mar 20, 2007

Pathetic slovenly single guy

jeez chrise man,
friikin look at this place

It took all of, what? 3 days? to become a pathetic slovenly, sterotypical single guy, stayin up all night playing video games, ordering food, getting clean clothes out of one pile and putting dirty in another (ok, I still use the hamper), reusing the cleanest of the dirty dishes.

Thats it, I have to get cleaning.
Seriously.
Right now.
No more typing...

But wait, there's more

• Feb 22, 2007

But wait, there's more

These ones are from my bookmarks...

http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Full-Contact-Spoons
(I wrote this!)

http://www.trackerschool.com/about_tracker_school.asp
(if only I had a spare $1000!)

http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp
(My total footprint is 4-5, or .8 to 1.2 earths)

http://ipgcounseling.com/lesbian_theory_1.html
(I don't really know why I have this bookmarked, I just find it interesting)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=515642196227308929
(possibly the coolest thing ever!)

http://sfparkour.com/
(so that when spring comes, we can all learn to do that stuff!)

Not a real (we)b-log

• Feb 21, 2007

Not a real (we)b-log

Personally, I am always disappointed to open a new blog installment from one of my subscriptions, and find that it is someone else's work, just copy-and-pasted in, or just a link to something they found interesting.  I often read it anyway, but I am interested in you, in your thoughts and experiences and stories.

However

Considering I have had a peak of 4 subscribers (one of which canceled fairly quick!), there aren't all that many people to annoy.

A few things I stumbled upon on the web, mostly while looking for other things.  Some funny, some interesting, some scary.

http://www.zug.com/gab/index.cgi?func=view_thread&sort=active&head=1&thread_id=64475
(who would have guessed it was so easy? must resist temptation...)

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2006/06/23/immature_hum.html?category=human&guid=20060623110030
(I feel this describes nearly everyone I know around our age)

http://www.hainsworth.com/?p=1347
(Dawkins is my God.)

http://news.com.com/2100-1029_3-6140191.html
(remember to pull that battery, and tell you co-conspirators to too)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/tvradio/programmes/sexsecrets/
(There's a lot here.  Browse a little.  On the brainsex quiz, I got a perfect 0 - neither masculine nor feminine.  Best of both worlds, I suppose.  I am very happy about that.  Body wise, however, I assure you I am 100% man!)

Organized protest: Civil obedience

• Feb 18, 2007

Organized protest: Civil obedience

Ever seen those fundamentalist evangelical christian fanatics gathered at gay parades and abortion clinics?
They gather up a good group of like minded people, they have signs, slogans, chants.

Has seeing them ever made you think maybe gays really are going to hell, or that abortion really is worse than murder? Even a little bit? Even for a moment?

My guess is no. You look at them, and think they are idiots, you are disturbed that they feel something so disgusting with enough conviction to even be there. You wonder why they care so much about issues which don't even directly affect them.

And yet, so many of us feel that, when it is ourselves holding the signs, saying the chants, that we are somehow influencing people, changing peoples minds, raising awareness perhaps.
Anyone who is still unaware, doesn't care. Anyone who is on the other side, just thinks poorly of the protesters, they aren't going to have a change of heart based on a chant or a slogan. Perhaps a long, in depth dialog, showing facts they may have been unaware of, demonstrating the logical fallacies of their assumptions, on so on, but not a chant.
Those people who do things like "honk" a horn in support, they were already on our side to begin with.

Then there is the idea that it will somehow influence politicians.
An elected official either gets your vote, or they don't. If you approve of them 51%, they have no reason to care if that increases to 99%, because you will already vote for them. That increase would cause a corresponding drop in some other demographics' vote. Like wise, if you like them 49%, they just as well may alienate you all the way, as they have already lost you.
(Hence "non-binding resolutions", get just enough support, without any political backlash)
Unless you have a city wide general strike, chances are any protest, however large, is actually composed of a fairly small subset of the population.
Outside of actual voting, why should they be concerned with the will of the citizens? Because they get there power from the fact that we choose to give it to them. They make the laws, but if the entire society, or a significant portion of it, doesn't follow one of them, it becomes meaningless. It is extremely unlikely at this particular point in time in this country, but the possibility of a coop always exists.

So the question becomes, how strongly do the citizens object to the actions of their leaders? What are they willing to risk, or sacrifice?

In the case of a protest, basically nothing. The individuals involved have very little risk from being there. It costs only a few hours of time, and having to stand or walk.
And, it seems most protests, anything short of the majority of a population, has little or no real effect.

Compare to those actions which have had the intended effect.

Ghandi taught not only to be peaceful, but also civil DISobedience. The negotiations began only after he led hundreds of people to publicly break one of the laws they objected to (that being a law against making your own salt direct from the sea, instead of buying it)
The protests against segregation included Rosa Parks' riding in the white section of a bus, and dozens of people sitting at white only lunch counters.
People were protesting Vietnam for years, but much of the country supported it - the protests became a good deal more meaningful, more relevant to the government, when people began publicly burning their draft cards.
There are only so many people who can be arrested. If enough people start breaking the law - risking jail, police beatings, a permanent record - the government gets closer and closer to losing control.
That power is by our consent; breaking the laws they impose is a withdrawal of that consent. So that scares them.

The writers of the constitution built support from citizens by building in freedoms and safe guards. But like any leader, they wanted to remain in power, and ensure that mostly elites held that power in the future. So, saying bad things about the government is legal, but words which might encourage (even implicitly) revolution or law braking have been outlawed by congress and upheld by the supreme court throughout American history, especially during war time ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_ConstitutionSedition ). There may be a reason why they don't mind peaceful, law abiding protests. Even the military, which is largely exempt from the constitution and the bill of rights, (no right to jury trial, for example), allows civil protests.

-

Not that it does any harm either. But we are deluding ourselves if we tell ourselves that we are really accomplishing something significant. If we really feel strong, we need to start breaking some laws. Interrupting the smooth running of business in America. Rile the people and scare the government. If we are not quite ready for that, I at least, choose to use my free time doing something fun.

When MoveOn is circulating methods of guerrilla warfare, someone let me know; of course, they can't really do that, because they would get shut down in an hour if they did. I'm not really blaming them. I just wonder where the spirit I hear about from 50 years ago went to.

English VS Metric; damn Americans are dumb

• Feb 10, 2007

English VS Metric; damn Americans are dumb

I bought a folding hex wrench set from the discount bin.

English sizes on one side, Metric on the other.

Here are the sizes, in order:

Metric -  1.5,    2,     2.5,   3,     4,       5,     6
English- 1/16, 5/64, 3/32, 1/8, 5/32, 3/16, 7/32

It should be obvious why even the British no longer use the English system.
The government once tried to have the U.S. catch up with the rest of the world, but gave up after massive citizen outcry.
I once worked with a guy who complained that the metric system was "too complicated".
I pointed out the example of
32/32 - 12 - 3 - 1760  VS  10 - 100 - 1000

(fraction of in. - in. in ft. - ft. in yard - yards in mile VS mm in cm - cm in meter - meters in kilometer)

He conceded that the latter was by far the simpler - but still had a strong objection to the metric system on the grounds that "they would have to change the game of football".

I can't help but to imagine this was the reasoning of most of the protestors. 
Interesting that, what ever the reason, an entire country would be unwilling to put a little effort into getting used to a new standard in order to make everything substantially easier for the rest of time.

I can't think of a reason, nor have I yet to hear one, why exactly one country, out of all the many that there are, should be collectively dumber than every other.

Free Market VS. Democracy: (1-0)

• Feb 1, 2007

Free Market VS. Democracy: (1-0)

We are not exactly taught that they go hand in hand.
It is taken as so self-evident that it does not even need to be said.

Because of that, it tends not to occur to anyone to question it; not even a lot of people who question just about everything else.

It is assumed also that it is impossible to have one without the other.

Hence, Americans for generations think that Communism and Democracy are opposites.
One is a political system, one is an economic system.
The opposite of Communism is Capitalism, and the opposite of Democracy is Dictatorship (or Anarchy).
I shouldn't have to bother to point out that distinction, but like I say, the assumption is pretty wide-spread.

It fools otherwise intelligent people, who believe in individual rights and freedoms - such as the entire Libertarian Party.

Many realize that some socialist and communist countries have been/are democratic, and that countries with individual ownership and stock markets can have a dictatorial government.

But it actually goes a lot further than that.

An open market makes democracy impossible.

On Buddhism, as a supposedly benign religion

• Dec 27, 2006

On Buddhism, as a supposedly benign religion

Buddhism doesn't believe in a supreme creator God, and different sects believe different things, but there are (in some versions and texts) other worldly or other dimensional beings, be they Gods, angels, spirits, or whatever.
They also believe in literal Karma, of being re-born indefinitely.
It still involves meta-physics, and it still involves faith.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faith_in_Buddhism


Buddhism specifically instructs its followers to refrain from "Sexual Misconduct" (although it does not specify what that means) and Buddhist monks and nuns are expected to remain celibate, just as Christian ones are.  Gender roles are determined and rigid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_and_Buddhism


Many westerners seem to have a view of Buddhism which would apply better to Taoism.
It is really more of a philosophy than a religion.

Personally, I find "spirituality" to be just as silly as religion.  It requires a denial of both the physical senses and common sense. I believe that the thought is basically complex emotion, emotion is complex instinct, instinct is complex stimulus-response, stimulus-response is complex biology, biology is complex chemistry, chemistry is complex physics… and that's all there is.
But if some people can experience a personal higher power, or interconnectedness, or whatever, maybe people feel a sign that the Book of Mormon is really true once they read it and pray.
The Mormons make a significant and deliberate point of saying that every individual should turn to God themselves and ask whether their teachings are true, they don't ask that you just believe what they tell you.

I think individuals of all religions are expected to not just believe, but to feel it is true from personal experience.  Just look at the practitioners "speaking in tongues".  And they say that everyone, given a life of goodness and faith, can achieve salvation, not just the Prophets.
You can find people who are intelligent, who think critically, within every religion, no matter how stupid.  That's the thing about faith.

on so called "conspiracy theories"

·                     Dec 19, 2006

on so called "conspiracy theories"

The pain ray, and the video I saw, and the comments on it, and looking up the PNAC, and from there about the "conspiracy theories" surrounding 9/11/01, got me thinking about all that again.

Obviously there are some theories out there which are born of hear-say, conjecture, misinformation, and ignorance.
Others have not really been addressed in any serious way - and probably could not be.
The people who object to them, (Popular Mechanics, John McCain, 9/11myths.com) tend to point out the reasons why such and such could have physically happened the way the official version says it did, or why such and such theory is impossible.
They then also say something along the lines of it being both unscientific and and detrimental to America to suggest such things.
But how it happened is not the point, and never was.

Two immigration articles in a week

·                     Dec 16, 2006

Two immigration articles in a week

The first was The Nation, which is strongly liberal, entirely political.
The article was pro-immigration.  Presumably the readership would be largely if not entirely liberal, yet the responses to the article, more than half of what was published, were negative.
That came as quite a surprise.
The second was Playboy, which is also consistently liberal, but which - for obvious reasons - has a more diverse readership.
It is too soon for anyone to have written in yet, but I know they will.

So, I wrote in to both.  I have had several short letters to the editors published in the past couple of months (PopSci about energy efficiency, PopMec about the efficiency of living in an RV, and possibly Sierra Club on BioDiesel - they said they would, but I never found it).
Kind of like this blog, except much shorter - and read by thousands of people!

So, anyway, here is, more or less, what I wrote:

Conclusion?

·                     Dec 13, 2006

Conclusion?

Looking up an article for the "pain ray" (Military 'Active Denial System') which basically uses a radio frequency similar to microwaves to heat up the skin of nearby rioters or protesters (she wanted to know if it was real - it is) I came across a link to a BBC documentary on the simultaneous rise of the NeoCon and Islamic Fundamentalist movements.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1002626006461047517
They both were largely inspired by what they saw as the corruption of modern life in America, caused by the incorporation of liberal values throughout society.  For an muslim visiting America, this was represented by young people at a dance.
People were becoming "too selfish" which prevented them from focusing on what is really important - God, and the words which were written hundreds of years ago by a guy who claimed to be able to talk directly with God.
Interestingly, while they do mention the religious component of the neocons ideas, they never mention the economic components.
The Muslims at least are consistent, and in that have a sort of personal integrity, even if it is based on something utterly stupid.
For the conservative movement, christianity is only half the story.
They also want unlimited wealth for the wealthy.
This is what caused them to hate the USSR so much.  When they speak of "The American Way of Life" they want the listener to believe they talking about "family values" or "freedom" or something of the like, but what they really mean is capitalism.
By very definition, capitalism's goal is maxing it easy for someone who already has money to make more money with out working.
It is about earning interest on your capital, investing.
We make it seem like it should be taken for granted that people can earn interest through investments, but this concept is not universal.
Beyond the obvious case of communists, muslims are forbidden to earn interest on their money.  However, this is not just written in the Koran.  It is written in the Bible, (remember Islam and Christian and probably 95% exactly the same - they seem more different than that because christians choose to ignore the parts of the bible which aren't convenient)
The bible also says you must pay your workers daily, you must forgive all debts every 7 years, neither work nor allow employees to work on Sunday, in addition to not charging interest on borrowed money. (Slavery is ok, though)
So much for the country being based on "christian' values.  It is based on business, and pretty much always has been.

Anyway,
I am getting side-tracked

In response to my last entry

·                     Dec 7, 2006

In response to my last entry

Thearticle in my last entry was written in 1932

74 years ago, and as accurate a portrayal of modern life today as it was then. 
Only the USSR he speaks of has fallen, adopting our system of "free market"
In the US production increases every year - an increase in per capita GDP of over 7 times, or almost 10% per year; yet work hours have been constant ever since - slightly increasing for most, decreasing for some, balancing out to an average of... exactly the same: slightly more than the 40 hour week which was made standard not long before the essay was written.
Since productivity has increased 7 fold, while hours have remained constant, presumably median real income (after accounting for inflation) would presumably have also increased 7 fold.
In actuality, median pay has increased around 2.1 times from 1948 to 2004 (earliest data I can find).
The one thing this otherwise excellent essay misses is that, while the land holding privileged class of royalty has been eliminated, they have been replaced indirectly by the societal acceptance of virtually unrestricted investment returns and inheritance.
Through them the primary owners and controllers of major corporations have taken the place of a class which does not have to do any real work but can instead charge ordinary people for the privilege of living and working on their land or in their companies.
It is much more their choice than the workers themselves that, for example, when the pin making machine is invented and production per person doubles, the work force is halved instead of individual hours.
It is to the advantage of the company - or, more specifically the owners and investors - who do no actual work but keep a percentage of the earnings - to have fewer people with more hours, as there is always a per person cost in taxes and benefits above the cost of wages.
With the introduction of the labor saving device, the employing company could choose to have all employees work half as often with the same total pay.  The employees are only given the choice of cut hours at reduced pay or 50% lay offs.  Given that, they prefer to retain the 8 hour day.  Were the company to continue to pay the same weekly rate for less hours (or double the hourly rate and halve the hours) it would not lose any money.  It would be exactly where it had been all along.  If it had been sustainably profitable before, it would continue to be.
However, the assumption in our society is that the company gets to reap the full benefit of the new invention.
Thus the increase in GDP over the years is primarily concentrated in the hands of those who need it least.
It is not actually true in most years that "the poor get poorer while the rich get richer"
A more accurate statement would be "the poor get slightly richer while the rich get much much richer", which is really just as bad.

In Praise of Idleness

·                     Dec 6, 2006

In Praise of Idleness

By Bertrand Russell

"Like most of my generation, I was brought up on the saying: 'Satan finds some mischief for idle hands to do.' Being a highly virtuous child, I believed all that I was told, and acquired a conscience which has kept me working hard down to the present moment. But although my conscience has controlled my actions, my opinions have undergone a revolution. I think that there is far too much work done in the world, that immense harm is caused by the belief that work is virtuous, and that what needs to be preached in modern industrial countries is quite different from what always has been preached. Everyone knows the story of the traveler in Naples who saw twelve beggars lying in the sun (it was before the days of Mussolini), and offered a lira to the laziest of them. Eleven of them jumped up to claim it, so he gave it to the twelfth. this traveler was on the right lines. But in countries which do not enjoy Mediterranean sunshine idleness is more difficult, and a great public propaganda will be required to inaugurate it. I hope that, after reading the following pages, the leaders of the YMCA will start a campaign to induce good young men to do nothing. If so, I shall not have lived in vain...."

In which all truly healthy relationships involve sleeping with other people

·                     Sep 27, 2006

In which all truly healthy relationships involve sleeping with other people

I think, in a way, a relationship which is truly healthy is one in which both people gain something concrete and positive and which would be difficult or impossible to find anywhere else, where neither person hurts the other (or at least not much and not often) and they appreciate each other. In this case, each person knows not only the others' value to them but also their own value to the other.

In this case, being comfortable in their relationship, being confident of their worth, then the partners other friendships are not a threat. While the feeling of jealousy may be inevitable, the thought of it is not and generally the two reinforce each other, like how seeing the blood somehow makes the cut hurt worse. So that it is not a matter of one relationship being "higher" or better, but, I think, in a way it is being comfortable with being in an open relationship (meaning, sexually, not emotionally or rather relationship-wise) is the best possible sign that you are ready for commitment. It is only if you trust the other person enough that you are ok (it will always feel a little uncomfortable but ok overall) with them sleeping with someone else, that you know that you are not with this person just for the sake of commitment.

People want security, and there is always the possibility for someone better coming along for one's partner - and perhaps in a way it is better to commit for its own sake, but perhaps it would be better to be with that person who is better. It's not really a question with a right answer. But if it is not a concern, certainly that is ideal and so perhaps no one who wants commitment should become committed.

Bad things happen. Relax. It will get better

·                     Sep 25, 2006

Bad things happen. Relax. It will get better

On acid, sometimes things get overwhelming, everything feels like too much, in a bad way, it's too fast, you don't understand, are confused and scared a little, maybe feel sick, physically and emotionally.

But if you have done it enough times. Even in this state of essentially insanity, you on some level can remember that
These things happen.
It has happened before - it will most likely happen again
And this time
It is temporary
It will end, and though it seems like it's been more than half of forever and you can't even remember exactly what it's like to be normal
And you can't imagine ever being normal again
You still know that it will eventually
And also
You know that there is nothing you can do to accelerate that process. You just have to wait.
It feels bad now, and it will feel bad, physically, mentally, and while you can't change that
You can focus on being calm. It is unpleasant but it is not the end of life, it is tolerable.
You accept it, remain as calm as you can in a buzzy jumpy loud colorful insanity - on one level it is impossible, but on another level there can be a kind of calm in waiting, in knowing it is temporary.

Everyone has experienced both good and bad feelings. The bad ones are like the bad parts of the drug. It has happened before. It will again. And this time it's temporary. Accept it. Calm down. Things will be better eventually.

30; Porn is not an affront to human dignity

·                     Sep 19, 2006

30; Porn is not an affront to human dignity

Not anymore than a video of people eating is

If we lived in a society which said you may never eat in public, you must never cook for someone unless you love them, it is shameful to eat alone, etc. then people would get paid big bucks to eat on camera, and single guys would watch videos of people eating.

This would not make the eating movies an affront to human dignity.

Sex is natural. It is society which is an affront to human dignity.

I saw porn when I was a child yet, amazingly, I NEVER RAPED ANYONE!

Some of it is unrealistic, which is exactly the appeal.

Its like when you watch an action movie - you don't really want to rob banks or be in high-speed chases, but its fun to live vicariously through the movie for a while.

In grand theft Auto, you kill people many times a minute, are rewarded for doing so, but when they discovered that you could download a patch to reveal a clothed soft-core, non-explicit mini-game, the rating was changed to "adults only"

Personally, I believe this is a worse reflection on society than porn.