a state of limbo
I wait in fear
perhaps purgatory is more accurate
A space between Heaven and Hell
While I await judgment.
I can not imagine a matter more important. Life and death, or actually, more significant than even that, it is a matter of life.
And it is out of my control.
I have made a case for myself.
I have tried the best I could.
I feel in a way a judgment against me would be better than this.
The anticipation itself is as agonizing as the worst Hell may have in store for me.
Heaven or Hell seems a most accurate description of the choices before me. Or actually, Heaven, Hell or an indefinite stay in purgatory. Even the last would be better than this.
At least then I would know.
It is another 5:20am morning tomorrow.
I must try to sleep.
The moment before sleep is the worst part of each day.
In that moment, there is no distraction.