26 May 2009

A year later

  • May 26, 2009

A year later

I am so sick of dating.

I can't say it hasn't been fun.
Its been really fun.  Many first experiences.

I have been asked out.  I have gathered the courage to ask out. 
Some time later I replaced courage with confidence.

I have learned an awful lot of things (and confirmed a few I suspected all along).
I learned just how different I am compared to so many of my peers in this area.
I learned that finding what I am looking for is really hard.
I learned that all the common stereotypes about gender and dating are totally false.
I learned that people really do have sex on first dates (and not just desperate people, drunks, or players, but ordinary healthy well-adjusted people)
I learned that women are just as superficial as men (just with height instead of weight)
I learned that (at least for those whose standards start at 5'6" or less) I am much more attractive than I had thought I was.
I learned that there is very little correlation between stated views on sex and actual comfort and enthusiasm in practice; and little correlation between visual sexiness and actual quality of performance.
I learned that the single most important variable is that she is truly comfortable with her own sexuality.
I was shocked to learn how many people think that the actions of the female partner have little bearing on the overall quality of sex, or that being "good" can consist solely of how much she is willing to have done to her.  I learned that not everyone can match my stamina.
I learned that people are much more forgiving of me for my infidelity than I am of myself (I decided against ever making that story a blog, but I have nothing to hide, so if you ask me I'll tell you about it)
I learned that I can easily fall in love with someone I am totally incompatible with - in fact, I'm starting to suspect that I have a tendency to do just that.
I have learned a lot about emotional responses and how rare it is to just be told, directly, when something I do is upsetting or annoying or offensive.
I learned just how guarded and polite people are, and how it breeds a sort of inadvertent falseness which I honestly never noticed before.

I have had sex with a number of beautiful intelligent compassionate women of various shapes and sizes and colors. People involved in social justice and environmental protection and education, younger than me, older, people who want to get married someday and others who think monogamy is an artificial social construct. More women in just this past year than I expected to be with in my entire life.
(I've also had my first ever STD test, and got the equivalent of an 'A' on it.) 
I've shared both physical and emotional intimacy with women who I could have conversations with and find myself questioning beliefs I've refined over a lifetime of thought and debate and felt totally confident about. 
I've even fallen in love.  It may have been with someone totally incompatible with me, but it was still nice to know for sure I still can.

24 May 2009

Counter-protest / Not that there's anything wrong with it

  • May 24, 2009

Counter-protest / Not that there's anything wrong with it


A friend of mine insists that I seem really gay (despite this friend being female, and us sleeping together).
As evidence she questioned someone I had just met, who agreed that whatever I was, she doubted it was straight.
As I found this more than a little strange, I proceeded to ask other people if they thought that when they first met me.
Responses mixed, but I was surprised to find some people agreed with their assessment.

The reasons I got included: that I seem comfortable with myself and others, comfortable in my own skin (mind you, I was in my own home at the time), and that I am not a sleazy slimeball.

I definitely consider those both to be very positive (and, I like to imagine, accurate) things to say about me, but it leaves an absolutely terrible implication for like, all straight men everywhere. 
Like, (aside from gay guys and me), they are all fake, all of the time (or at least around women), always trying to show off or prove something, I suppose, or one way or another acting (presumably for the chance to have sex with everyone they meet).
I have a lot of trouble believing that.

20 May 2009

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits reunion show!!!!

  • May 20, 2009

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits reunion show!!!!

Long long ago my first full-time job was as a bike messenger.
Occassionally, when things were kind of slow, I would sing to my co-workers over the 2-way radio system.
I would sing Bobby Joe Ebola songs.
One of the couriers, 1 5 Slug, he asked me who wrote those crazy songs, and I let him borrow Bobby Joe's first album.

Fast forward almost an entire decade.

I have moved out of mom's house, had about 30 jobs, traveled the country, gotten married, gotten divorced, started my own business.
Someone writes from Craigslist about a couch I am selling from a hauling run.
When I get there to drop it off, it's 1 5 Slug.

His roommate is Corbet, (former) lead singer of Bobby Joe.
For some reason 1 5 Slug does not find any of this to be the slightest bit noteworthy.

Saturday, June 20, 2009
09:00 PM to 02:00 AM

The Uptown Nightclub
1928 Telegraph Avenue
Oakland, CA, 94612

Only the greatest band ever to grace the SPAM label.
The greatest band which also doubled as an Amtgard administrator.
The headliner of nearly every GeekFest.
My own old band's - Pork and the Spork - most important supporter.
The only acoustic guitar band that could play the Gilman and not get beer bottles chucked at their heads.
Of all the offensive humor bands there are in the world, none can touch the MacNuggits.
They have been broken up for many, many, many years.
And yet here they are, playing a show as if nothing happened.
Right here in Oakland.

If you do not attend this show, bad things may happen.

14 May 2009

Bush Jr

May 14, 2009

Bush Jr.

I'll say one thing for Jr.

His press correspondents dinner was much much funnier than Obama's was.  He gets points for that.  I guess there was just so much more to make fun of about him, and he knew it, which, granted, is a very bad quality for the most powerful person on the planet to have.

But still.

I miss the days of making fun of the president.  It was enjoyable.  And it gave a good place for everyone to direct their anger.  Now who are we gonna be angry at?  We're going to have to go back to road rage, and as a bicyclist, motorcyclist, and hypermiler, that's extra bad news for me.  I realize now, too late, that I should have voted for McCain.  In the interest of amusement.  Sure, there is a slight chance we get universal health care within the next decade, but under Jr. we didn't need health care.
Because laughter is the best medicine.

(starts 2 minutes in)

12 May 2009

The Garden

  • May 12, 2009

The Garden

My garden has finally been started.
It has been a long time now since I first decided to, but at least I didn't wait until mid-summer when it would be too late to plant.

I built the planter entirely out of scrap wood I had saved from past hauling jobs.

11 May 2009

The Contest

  • May 11, 2009

The Contest

[note: this is a repost from long ago.  You cannot vote.  But you can still see it]

I would much appreciate it if you voted for my instructable.

I don't so much want the prize, but I would love the exposure.

Unfortunately you have to sign up, but fortunately it's free, and doesn't take very long.

Thanks in advance.

05 May 2009

Obama is going after off-shore tax shelters

  • May 5, 2009

Obama is going after off-shore tax shelters

I know I have said this before, but in light of the presidents move to end offshore tax havens and companies outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor, http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/09/05/04/Continuing-the-Conversation-Tax-Reform-for-American-Jobs/
(and more than a few people claiming there is no difference between democrats and republicans), I feel it bears repeating.

The US economy has been growing over the past decade.
Median income has not.
In fact, adjusted for inflation, the real income of the middle class has actually fallen slightly.

The reason for this disparity is that virtually 100% of the economic gain has gone to the upper class - largely people who don't need to do any real work because they own the means of production, real estate, or stock, which means they actually contribute nothing to society.
The net worth of America’s wealthiest 1 percent now exceeds the net worth of the entire bottom 90 percent. http://www.whitehouse.gov/omb/assets/fy2010_new_era/Inheriting_a_Legacy1.pdf

When someone says that raising taxes hurts "the economy", well yes, it may reduce the total GDP.  But it is only taking money away from people who have too much already, who don't need it, and frankly, don't deserve it. When taxes are raised on big business they ARE NOT forced to lay off workers.  They could just as easily reduce CEO pay, reduce dividends, or slow the companies rate of growth.

Total GDP and economic growth are not goals in and of themselves.  They are useful only to the extent that they improve quality of life for American citizens.  We have myopically focused on nothing but total rate of growth for too long.  We have the world’s largest economy, yet we don't have the highest standard of living.

When middle America is ready to head to wall street with AK47s, I'm there.  In the meantime, we have Obama.  Lets not let years of cynicism keep us from appreciating it.